Fallowell the Intolerant

The following excerpt is taken from scroll fragment 34b. It has been enumerated for quick reference.

1 [A man came from] the caves of Platavola near Melidoni wearing a cloak of goats hair and carrying with him 3 satchels of bat guano.
2 He was called Fallowell the Intolerant, and he was wise in the ways of men and government.
3 [And he spent many] days with us, teaching us of [politics] and sharing his wisdom.
4 And it happened that, as he was teaching, many among us wondered concerning the bat guano,
5 and while we were still wondering among ourselves, Fallowall perceived our amazement
6 and he answered us saying, "Surely there are those among you who are wondering [about the] bat guano I have brought with me."
7 "There will come a day when a land of freedom rises across the great ocean, and in this land of freedom there will be many who despise the laws of our Maker."
8 "They will begin to seek out [positions of] authority to justify their actions [by way of] the law."
9 "And when this occurs, I, and those who [are come alongside] me, will be prepared to hurl this bat guano at their feet, that they might not walk on holy ground."
10 And we sat in awe at the words he was saying to us, for we were not prepared.
11 So we began at once to gather our belongings, and journeyed from our dwelling near Chersonissos to the caves of Skoteino,
12 that we might collect bat guano in preparation for the coming of this fearful day.
13 After gathering each 3 satchels of bat guano, we made preparation and returned to the city where we practiced making the ground unholy before [the feet of the infidels].
14 And one after another, [the feet of the infidels] were covered with the guano.
15 Their shame was exceedingly great, as our righteousness grew in the eyes of the pious.
16 And we gained some [notoriety] in those days, when we walked with Fallowell the Intolerant.

Our team of scholars has made every attempt to render the most direct translation of this passage. Several portions were repleat with erroneous spellings and poor grammar, which we have attempted to adjust with utmost care for the integrity of the text. These portions are indicated within the text by parenthesis.

It has also come to our attention that there is some hint of prophecy in the text itself - though we are unprepared and ill-equipped to attempt any interpretation concerning what this prophecy means or who it may be about. That said, however, our very own Dr. Henry J. Plickett thinks there is a striking resemblance between Fallowell the Intolerant and a particular contemporary Southern Baptist preacher from Thomas Road Baptist Church in Lynchburg, Virginia.