Meet St. Upid, Patron Saint of Complete Ignorance

Several years ago, in an archeological dig on the isle of Crete, a trove of ancient writings dated to the 2nd century and written in greek, were unearthed, encased in what appeared to be an ancient toilet.

The contents of these magnificently decorated manuscripts were at first, somewhat confusing , as it seemed to be some account of the life and teachings of a holy man, yet bore no marks of having ever been unrolled or handled. On further investigation experts concluded that the writings were in fact the lost artifacts of the venerable St. Upid. first mentioned in an obscure passage from Justin Martyr concerning the ignorance of the Cretans.

Not far from where the ancient toilet full of St. Upid's writings was found, another peculiar artifact appeared. This wall fresco apparently relates a regular occurrence wherein Upid would horde time in the bathroom causing other saints some consternation. Christ can be seen at the top of this fresco with his hands outstretched in gesture of asking what is taking so long.

As scholars began translating the documents what they found astonished them. It is these documents that we of the SFTPATOATBOAWRSONF (Society For The Preservation And Translation Of Ancient Texts By Obscure Authors With Relatively Small Or No Followings) have gained access to and have now translated and will be offering free of charge to the general public via this blog.

We at the Society thank you for your visit and hope you will return soon.